Learning Lessons in Mummyography: Autumnal Balance

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Autumnal Balance

Every household makes it's own rules regarding domestic chore division.

Couples take into account their shared interpretation of a "clean home". They consider factors such as hours spent out at work, hours children and pets demand, skill sets, chore satisfaction and where chores lay on their individual and shared priority lists. Some couples label jobs as "pink or blue". Some would say men cherry pick the "glory chores". Sometimes there's a "chore martyr". Characters come in to play. It's complex.

It's complex and by the time you think you both have your rules and roles defined... You go and have a baby. Then you may have a party on maternity leave. You may have one "at work" more than the other. You may have jobs the other PHYSICALLY can't do (like breast-feeding). You also have a whole pile of activities that both parties are defining differently, you might think it's a "chore", he might think it's a "pleasure". Some things are a pleasure if they're only done once a week, as opposed to twice a day and then they become chores.

The integrals are endless. The negotiations are difficult. Investments are emotional. Communication becomes more essential than ever and at the exact same time you loose all your time, patience and energy for communication.

There's no point in me going in to the specifics of our domestic chore division. It won't apply to any other couple in the universe because every couple is different.

Suffice to say this weekend represented two things;

1. Steve and I hitting our balance in domestic division. Like when you change gears on an old bicycle and you get that clunking and clicking and the resistance behind the pedals staggers, all followed by a last snap in to place and wheel find their stride. Like that. Feels ace. High 5 Mr. A.

2. Total immersion in to Autumn 2012 and all the joys of autumnal activities.

Missed this off my list... Blowing and counting the "o'clocks"...