Thursday, 6 September 2012

6 Months

When I wrote my birth story (which I will publish on here when I know what I've got to say about it) I literally wrote the facts and at the end when I should have expanded on how I felt about her words failed me and I just wrote...

"I don't have my words for this part yet. But yea, thats how she got here. It was long but she got here." 

So whilst doing my last feed tonight I was wondering if I had the words yet and if I could write them down in honour of her half year birthday tomorrow. I do not. However, I was rifling through cliches in my head and I struck something... I love her more than life itself. Repeat it. I love her more than life itself. I LOVE her MORE than LIFE itself. That statement says I love her more than living, like (desperately trying not to drop to a morbid tone) I would rather not live than not be around her. It's true. 6 months ago tomorrow this became a fact of my life.

I don't know how well this is coming across to the reader you know when suddenly your perspective changes and you hear something you've heard one way for years, in a totally different way. Like when someone tells you the lyrics of a song sound like something else and then all you can hear are the lyrics that way. It's like that. All those cliches about "my kids are my life" and "I'd do anything for my kids" that you've heard people say a million times before suddenly sound different. Different like real. Real like true. 

I don't know what other people's night feeds are like... but in this house they're long. My thought train goes on...

Whenever I type "love" in to my iPhone I always miss the "o" and put "live". I live you. Fitting here really. 6 months ago wasn't just about Euna's life beginning. It was also (albeit not as significantly) about my motherhood starting. My life started being about her. I live you. I do. I can't imagine a time in my life to come when I won't now. Other things will come in to my life and ride tandem with you/us/our family but essentially I will now live you, this, us, family and motherhood forever. The face of it will change, hopefully with more faces. The landscape will evolve but the concept, of me and my family, me having a family, me being for my family, is for forever. For my forever at least. And that's big to me.

So happy six months baby girl. Thank you. I love you. I live you.

High five Steve! We're doing it. I don't suppose there's a universal measure of performance but I think we're happy with how we're doing it. We're happy. She's happy. High freakin' five!

Lesson: Old words come new with new experiences and then you realise why these words have survived to such an age. I guess cliches are only cheesy until they apply to you, after that... they're classic. 

1 comment:

I appreciate, read and reply to all comments, I would LOVE to hear what you think today...


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