I imagined it would all seem more real this time. I've witnessed the reality of bump turning into baby once, surely the miracle would be more believable given the experience? No. It's not.
If anything it's all less believable, could I really, seriously and realistically be that lucky twice over in a lifetime? Does that even happen? I can't bring myself to feel worthy of it one time around most days...
Apparently if you smile you can make yourself feel happy. So let's apply the same logic here... If I write like I believe this baby is coming, maybe I'll start to believe...
Hi Baby
Right now you're in my belly. You've just kicked me to the left of my belly button to prove it. Let's get acquainted. I'm your Mum. Well initially I'll be your Mumma, then I'll be Mummy and eventually when I admit defeat that you are old enough I'll be your Mum. Actually before I'm any of those things I'll be the woman with the food on her chest.
Any which way I'm here and waiting for you. Waiting for you to come join our family. Waiting for you to teach me that all my love isn't used up, that there's reserves beyond my imagination. Waiting for you to show my daughter how to love a sibling. Waiting for you to unteach me all the things I thought I learnt about mothering with Euna, whilst I learn how unique and special you are. Waiting for cuddles. Waiting for feeds. Waiting for those locked eyed newborn stares that bore into me like a train.
I'm waiting baby and I am going to start to believe in you. I don't know much about you yet, I don't know what sex you are, I don't know what colour your hair is or if you have your Dad's long legs. But I know I love you, before I really believe you are to be, I know that. I know what your head smells like and I know it's going to make me want to die on the spot because nothing will ever smell that good again. I know I'll cry at how small you are. I know there's so so so much to look forward to.
Yours sincerely believing in you and waiting for you,
Mum
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Slow mornings...
And zoo fun...
Drawing with Grandad...
Babysitter in training...
I just teared a little :) As a mum(my) of a boy and a girl, I can relate so much to you. You'll see, as I did, that love really can't be divided, it multiplies ;)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy this time. Best wishes!
P.S. I miss that wonderfull smell on babies heads....
awww this is beautiful! xx
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful x
ReplyDeleteYour photographs are beautiful. I was exactly like this before my second child was born and now as we contemplate trying for number three, dare we dream? Could we be so lucky? You will love having 2, my two are very close which is lovely to see. Popping here from #pocolo
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful letter to your unborn child and such beautiful photos too. Thank you for sharing with PoCoLo x
ReplyDeleteso beautiful. its such a magical, blissful existence having the treasure of your babys heart beating in time with yours, waking you with a good morning kick :):) i miss that. One day i hope to bless my stud with another sibling that'll be by his side always too. he misses his sissy when shes at her mama's so much xxx
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