(I'm welling up just at the thought of writing this).
Firstly: thank you.
This time last year I was 30 weeks pregnant, with everything to fear. The zillion and one worries of a pregnant woman were flying around my head. I have no official faith. But still I prayed everyday that this baby would get here safely. That it would be healthy. That I would do good for it. That Steve would do good for it. That we would do good for each other. (I loved it already but) that I would love being a Mum.
Oh. She did. She is. I do. He does. We do. And I do. More than anything. So much more than I ever anticipated. So much so I don't really know how I hadn't lived my entire life before hand without feeling that gaping, vacuous hole that must have been there without her?
How can someone be so lucky? How? How can I be so lucky without being owed a millennia of plagues and misfortune?
So biggest, deepest and sincerest thank you.
Secondly: how did you change me so much?
In 2011 I was a dance teacher. I knew I loved education, I loved work, I saw job role and salary as almost my sole measure of success. I knew a lot of things.
2012! What did you do to me?! Why did I never miss my job? What are these new ambitions in photography I have? How have I been so contented at home? How has being the best Mum I can be knocked all my former priorities off the charts? AND WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT THIS SMALL PERSON I LOVE SO MUCH THAT I EAT, BREATHE AND SLEEP HER?!?!!!
I'm not actually asking these questions. I don't want any answers. I am so happy to embrace every metamorphosis you have brought I have no reason to seek reasoning. Just... Wow!
Third and finally: now this is living.
2012, you have shown what can really happen if you follow your passions and love harder than you've ever loved before. Like if you imagined you were dying. Love like you're dying. Love that hard. Live that hard. If we could live and love that hard through 2013 what would we get done? If you looked back in a year's time where would you be? What would you have done?
So there we are. 2012, you have been wonderful. You are the year I became a Mum. I hope to live many wonderful years like you but I doubt anything could dull you into obscurity for that reason. I'll look back on you. The year I became a Mum and it all changed.
Yours wholly and sincerely appreciatively
Charlie
P.S. If you speak to 2013 before I do, tell it I'm ready.
NYE 2011...
7th March 2012...
Olympics...
August...
October...
November...
Christmas...
1. No more swearing around the baby. Explained here...
2. TBC... My husband's suggestion of "get more interested in darts" is not making the list.
What a sweet post, and what an awesome year! I'm jealous you guys got to see the Olympics! I also love the photo of you with your sweet little girl in the baby carrier, such a sweet photo!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post, full of love, and happiness. Happy New Year to you. x
ReplyDeleteYour baby's due date is creeping up on you. Only about six weeks left to go! If you are pregnant with twins, you should expect them to arrive any day now. Though the ideal length of a twin pregnancy is between 38 and 40 weeks, over 50 percent of twins are born premature, or before 37 weeks.
ReplyDelete