There's a lot of things I worry about now I have babies. A LOT. But it's like you have a worry quota in your head, so now I have new things on my worry list some things have been bumped off. Here's 3 that occur to me right now...
For two reasons. Firstly my body made the two most awesome people I have ever met in my life, if it can do that then it's amazing and I'm not going to be so hard on it all the time. If my body allows a cellulite dimple here or a muffin top there I'm not going to worry, my body's worked pretty hard the last couple of years and if this is the price then that's cool. Secondly no one in this house seems to want to cuddle me any less for the acquire dimples, crinkles and cushioning and if they don't have a problem then neither do I.
From the second I first got pregnant the ante got upped on every level of things I have to worry about. In an instant I had more to lose than ever and everyday that has passed since then I've only had more and more to lose. So whilst this means I have in the region of 4 million more things to worry about since becoming a Mum, that kind of means I need to learn to enjoy today. I've got my eye on tomorrow and I'm doing my very best to keep everything and everyone all good for tomorrow but being a Mum has taught me the meaning of savouring the moment more than any other experience of my life.
When I was 17 my sister joined the Navy and served for 8 months in Iraq. As well as all the worry for my big sister came this awe at how important she was to the world. She was changing things, affecting lives, seeing history... It was the first time anyone really close to me became seriously "important" in that sense and I wanted to be too. From then on I always worried the things I was doing with my life weren't "big" enough. But now I'm a Mum I know in my own very small corner of the world I am very important. I'm someone's mother and to them for now and always that's enormous. Our parents influence so much of who we will be and what we will do. So I am important and that's very cool (and terrifying).