Monday, 27 August 2012

Change and moving forward and living in the now.

I've always had to have a plan. A tick list. I've always needed to be moving forward. Probably the reason why I never imagined myself as a stay at home mum. Because being a stay at home mum (to me) is all about living in the NOW. You're not given a professional development plan. You're not guaranteed an annual pay rise. You don't even get a review where you're told about your performance and where you can go from here. It's all about THAT day. Soaking it up. Everything you do will need to be done again tomorrow at the latest. Infact it will probably need to be tidied, wiped, fed, cleaned or changed six times before tomorrow. So it's not more of a maintenance role than a development one, if that makes sense? I'm not "going anywhere" doing this. I'm just BEING. 

Hence why I would never have seen being home with a baby as something that would suit me. But despite it making NO sense to my personality or former self in any way, it does. That's not me saying I'm a great parent, this isn't a boast post, it's just me saying I'm happy doing it.

So thinking about it with that perspective its ironic in some way to imagine that whilst I am all about being in the moment and enjoying the now little baby A is just change change change. Everyday there's a new trick, habit or interest. It's incredible. Sometimes you watch them doing something new and they're so blasé with it you can only assume they've been doing it longer than that and that you must of missed it! 

We currently have two big changes on the horizon. 

1. Crawling and/or bum-shuffling. She looks equally as ready to start both. I think my money is on crawling but we shall see.

2. Food. In ten days she will hit the 6 month mark and I think she's ready. Saturday she went to put food in her mouth for the first time and in the last two days she's started chewing EVERYTHING.

Change, change, change. Feels weird. Keep thinking once she can move she will be able to chose where she wants to be and once she can eat I get to know her tastes. I guess that's what growing up is. Getting more and more choices. I'm excited... I can't wait to see what she likes, see what she looks like crawling, play more elaborate games on the floor, take her to soft play and watch her face as she tries all the new foods. But it's like I'd rather have it like a chapter selection on a DVD, take a quick glimpse and then skip back to the beginning and grab a newborn snuggle.

Lesson:

Change is ONLY ok when you want it and it seems to come around quicker when you're happy BEING. I guess change that just happens to you should be embraced as readily as change that you make happen. It's going to happen anyway. But take photos before it happens again too quickly.

Trying to inspire a little crawl...
 Savouring the post feed nap cuddles whilst I can...
 Whilst she's stationary enough just to lay on the floor with me...

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