There's little more subject to context than a female feeling "fat". Whilst I understand that; I feel fat.
I feel big in my skin. Hefty. Wobbly. Wide.
It might be in my head, it might be real, I suppose interpretation is in the eye of the beholder... But I feel fat.
That insecurity is a horrible thing too. It crawls over me, over my sunshine induced good mood buzz. I don't sit around and wallow in it, but it's there. Then I annoy myself because just feeling that goes against so much I believe in about self image, unrealistic expectations, pregnancy health, celebrity worship culture... So much stuff that clearly I only believe in for everyone else in the universe, except me.
I should be version of perfect I spend a lot of time denying the existence of.
Then I realise it's fine. It's one part hormones, two parts irrelevant because before I know it there'll be a time when I get what it was all for. This will shrink back in to the silly proportions it belongs in.
Walk on grass and wear very little in the privacy of our own garden...
(Euna's own photographic work FYI)
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ReplyDeleteI can definitely sympathize with you. I think everyone has, at some point in their lives, had those days where they look at the mirror and anxiety and insecurities start to sink in. I believe it's totally okay. It's what we do about it and how we feel afterwards is what's important. I love your realizations on this. The pictures are just amazing, by the way! Stay happy and beautiful!
ReplyDeleteDr. Kenneth Sanders@ Knight And Sanders