Second Time...

I spent a lot of time worrying that being having a second child was going too hectic to enjoy. I imagined there certainly was such a thing as too much of a good thing and I wouldn't be able to love being a Mum like I had.

My reality of it all second time around has been that it is seriously hectic. Most days I wake up, roll around in bed for about ten minutes whilst baby and toddler sniffs and squiggly noises bring me in to the land of the living. Then we're up and I swear the world fast forwards on it's hinges, everything happens in lightening speed. My head buzzes thinking ten tasks ahead of the present to make sure everything happens in the right order and before I know it we're a dozen near-emergencies dodged, my hair's resembling a birds nest, the lounge looks like a toy emporium and the day is over! In a flash, like that a day is done. And every day is over like that. NEOWWWWNNNN... (That's a fast car noise.)

That sounds negative. Sometimes it is. Sometimes my back aches, the domestic mess irritates me and my chipped nails piss me off and I wish I had a little more time. On the whole though it's great. Because what happens when you ride out everyday at lightening speed is you get rid of a lot of nonsense. Some nonsense is tangible, actual stuff that doesn't happen anymore, like I never really clean the highchair, I hardly ever get to go shopping so all of Euna's tights have holes or stains and I am yet to put Bow in clothes that aren't baby grows. The other nonsense is nonsense that's not happening in my head and the vast majority of it is one form or another or worrying. Like I don't really worry if Euna's naps go AWOL, much less bothered if we don't leave the house some days, I'm never concerning myself with implementing some new parenting initiative I read about in an article (because I haven't read the article), I don't see something someone else is doing and instantly feel bad that's not what we're doing... Stuff like that.

Basically second time is like being able to parent on a permanent chill pill. It's sans all that jittery rawness of first time and what's left is a steadier head, way more self-belief, the ability to enjoy more fully and because I know what's to come I am so much less nervous to lose my baby to childhood.

Bada-bup-bayaaahhhhh I'm loving it! ;) Some snaps from last week...

Baby Toes #2

I think I've posted baby toes before but they really are the cutest things to photograph. These are from a little newborn shoot I had last week. 

Tiny little newborn tootsies really are the epitome of baby newness. So soft, clean, crepe paper thin skin, barely wrinkled, not even stepped a single step yet... The places they'll take him! :D 

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I've never been one for Valentines Day. It doesn't make me particularly sentimental and it never once depressed me in my single days. Don't get me wrong, I pretty much expect a card from Steve and I'm all for excuses to make an effort for quality time together and my enthusiasm can be known to peak if a glass of something bubbly is on offer... So you definitely won't get a rant about it being a corporate holiday invented by card companies blah blah blah... Short version is I'm on the fence on February 14th.

But love huh?! That's a BIG topic. This year I have all varieties to celebrate. The marital and romantic varieties (not always the same thing). The Mummy to daughter type. The Mummy to son type. The kind I feel for my own parents, somewhat redefined and much more in focus since becoming a Mum myself. I've got it all this year and that's a lot of love!!

Recently had some turning-30-making-me-reasses-absolutely-everything-and-judge-myself-and-my-life-and-all-my-decisions-and-all-my-achievements-really-really-harshly wobbles. It occurs to me this valentines day I'm feeling way more of the L-stuff than ever and that's very cool. So cool infact I'm thinking about using Valentines Day as the new reassessment point in my year. Better than New Year, better than birthdays. Valentines is the new "what the hell am I doing with myself?" day, because all I need to look at is if I've got a lot of the big L going out to a lot of different places.

I feel pretty happy thinking about it all that simply. So maybe February 14th is the day to strip it all back to life's best freebie and let that very basic element be your barometer...?

Anyway, here we are spreading some of that love with a little toddler Valentine's crafting...

Reflecting on a Time Budget

A very good friend of mine just had a baby. Her second. Her first is within weeks old of Euna. We're close and it's like I'm seeing all my own having-a-second-newborn-early-days again. And because I was so in throws of it I didn't blog any of it.

I didn't blog the instant urge to protect Euna from any change or any drop in Mummy's attention. I didn't talk about how protective I felt over Bow around those flailing toddler arms. I never got a chance to mention how I obsessively needed to prove I cope with two from day 1 by trying to breastfeed a newborn whilst reading a faved Julia Donaldson book to a toddler. I haven't even had a chance to really think about putting in to words how, after months and months of worrying, how seamlessly equally I love them both.

It's all been so huge but so organically normal at the same time. Maybe only seemingly organic because it's been so busy. We wake and go from one thing to the next to the next... We slump on the sofa and as if by some trick it's bedtime! The benefit of little reflective time... It just happens. And often if I don't have time to think about things, the right things happen.

We're all alive so some of the right things must be happening right?!

From the parts of my week when I got to photograph my own babies... First up BUNCHES?! BUNCHES!!!!! (That's British for "pig tails" FYI)

Newborns & New Lessons...

There's been a mad rush on the photography front. Friends babies and friends of friends babies = Mini snowball!

It's scary. It's new and I'm out of my comfort zone and I feel pretty silly when I talk to people about it all. I'm trying to stay focused on the idea that if I'm feeling this way then it's proof I'm pushing myself, that I'm learning and that I'm putting myself out there. All good "seize the day" stuff. 

Here's a few fruits of my labours... 

Bow Through a Macro...