Pregnancy Must Buys

Aside from quite literally the thousands of biscuits, sweet treats, chocolate bars, comfort snacks and carb heavy meals these are the things I couldn't live without during pregnancy:

1) Make-Up Essentials. (My own personal de-zombiefication-kit.)) At the beginning when you could sleep for England and towards the end when you are bloated, blotchy and wheezing with breathlessness you need long lasting cosmetic products that take second to apply and make a big difference.

My two must haves are Yves Saint Laurent's Touche Eclat highlighter (I use a number 2 shade) to ride me of bags and touch up any blotches. It just makes you look that much more bright eyed and bushy tailed and I'm a great believer in if you look like it you will feel it...

Second is an all important splash of colour. A bright colour. It'll pick up your whole face and outfit, even if your outfit is your scruffiest, oldest, stained "fat joggers" and a funky 80's-esc pineapple hair do... I do think the assumption is if you've managed a full lip stick then it must all be intentional. I use a bright red and I just feel better for it. Max Factor Lipfinity is my favourite, it lasts all day and doesn't rub off for toddler kisses and this "Hot" shade works with my slightly paler skin tone...

2) Leggings. What better time to rock a bump than at such a time when leggings are in fashion?! Stretchy, comfortable, black, essential leggings. There isn't a more flexible wardrobe essential than a black pair of leggings, for in or out, dressed up or down, prenatal yoga classes to date night. You need leggings. I got by the last 9 months in these The Essential One Maternity Leggings.

(Clearly they Photoshopped in a picture of me as this lady's body double... Villans. :P)

3) H&M stretchy vests, tees and dresses. Non maternity ones. Like these and these. From £3.99 to £12.99, they've saved me a fortune, they're super stretchy and long so cover bump a treat and as they're not maternity they will do me after the birth as well. I have only had to buy 1 dress size up from my usual size too.

4) "Hypnobirthing: The Breakthrough Approach to Safer, Easier, Comfortable Birthing" by Marie Mongan. Seriously, this book has changed my whole perspective on pregnancy and birth. Not to mention it has rid me of 99.9999% of my pregnancy and birth related anxiety. For reading it's theories on "fear-tension-pain-syndrome" I have a whole new perspective on my birth with Euna, the social context of childbirth and what an impact expectation affects women's experience of birth globally. Since reading it I have learnt to love my pregnant body, be excited for birth and learnt solid relaxation techniques that I believe I will carry forward long after childbirth. I can't recommend it enough...

5) Theraline Maternity & Nursing Pillow. In my last pregnancy I made do with a £5.99 v-shaped pillow from a cheapie bed sheet and bath towel shop in town. I swore by it and couldn't for the life of me understand why people spent £40-90 on a specialised maternity pillows. Then about 3 months in to this pregnancy I was really struggling with sleep and Steve insisted I at least gave it a try. It cost £44.95 from John Lewis and worth it's weight in gold for getting me comfortable in bed for the last 6 months. Better than any normal foam pillow because it doesn't flatten over time as you lay on it. It's full of tiny beads that mould in to position and stay there. Great support resulting in great less rubbish sleep.

6) Bath smellies. Baths were made for pregnancy, I am sure of it. Aches and pains, stresses and worries, tiredness and even early labour pain can all be relieved in the bath. It's good bonding time with your bump and I find essential to get to know and accept your body as it changes. Needless to say I rank a bath up there with things you should have a little splash out on and pimp with some luxury smellies. These Neal's Yard products have been two of my favourites...

7) Bravado Maternity & Nursing Bras. I actually bought when Euna was newborn and they have been repurchased and repurchased over the last 18 months. They are my favourite. They give a great shape, great support all around and they're sized to expand and retract with ever changing pregnancy and breastfeeding breasts. More than anything they're particularly a great purchase to have ready for after the birth and the logistics of making it to a bra fitting are a little complicated.

From the Baby Fumes...

The newborn haze is still too thick to really put in to words how much this little face means to me. How much having a son means to me. To really articulate everything I'm feeling and experiencing with the arrival of this little wonder. He's beyond precious and these days are like gold, gold dust just slipping through our fingers... Such anticipation, such build up... It feels a little like a cruel joke that once they're here time just rushes away and we're too drugged on baby fumes to really find a way to stop and make it savour it. 

Not that any length of time would be enough. I don't think I'd be able to smell this little head enough times. I'm certain there would never be too many mini blasts of baby breathe on my neck whilst he nuzzles in. His hands won't ever curl around my finger enough times. Ever. It'd always be too fast, too fleeting and too little.

The camera... What a wonderful invention.

Christmas Card Crafting with a 1 Year Old

I am THE FIRST to complain if people start talking about Christmas too early. But forgive me blog readers, this year is an exceptional one and I want to start early because if I don't it is more than likely that December 25th could come and go in a haze of sleep deprivation and I might not even notice!

So killing 3 birds with one stone, those birds being 1) spend quality time with Euna 2) spend more time chilling out at home and 3) getting my Christmas craft on, here are Euna's 2013 edition of the Christmas card...

They're following a fairly fool proof design brief: buy Christmas themed shiz and stick it to cards with PVA...

Intervene at points when PVA ingestion gets a little excessive... 

Stamp "Xmas" with lettered stamps...

TADA!

Check out our 2012 baby handprint cards from last year here! 

Welcome Bowen: A Birth Story.

I could come back and back to this post and procrastinate over ways to write it. Levels of detail to include. What do I even remember? And how accurate and well ordered are all the snippets in my head?

Big deep breath... I'm just going to throw it at you...

Thursday 3:30am I wake up with hideous nausea and spend a couple of the early hours throwing up and crying in self pity to Steve. 

5:30am I'm lying in bed post puke and my waters pop! Gear change. We're going to have this baby. I don't claim Mother's intuition often, but right then I know my body's going to start up, and it does. I call my Mum to make her way over for Euna duties. Alert the community midwives office. By 7:00am I'm having some mild contractions and riding them out with a "hummm" and my hypnobirthing CD.

My mum arrives and lies on the bed with me. I've got a cool head on and tell her I'm fine, even though I'm still being sick... Less than ideal start to labour.

A midwife arrives at 8:30am. Karen, for some reason I'm pleased she's young? She checks my paper work, birth plan, "I like it!" she says and I appreciate the nice smile she gives it. Nice to know we're starting this with someone who gets what we want.

9:00am. I'm 3cm. Not active labour. She intends to scrawl some paperwork, finish her tea and leave us to it. She hopes I've been poorly all I can be, so I'll sleep a while, recoup and then be well enough to get walking and bouncing and jeering this labour on. "We don't need to worry about anything happening until 5 o clock tomorrow".

9:30am. I'm being more sick and the act of it is pushing the labour on. Stronger surges, every 5 minutes. I feel like crap. I worry I'm well enough to see this through. Midwife says "I AM doing it". Hmm... Thanks but you don't know how I feel and I'm eared up for a 2 day labour like last time. I can't start that marathon from this place. Midwife stays. 

I nest up on our sofa. Try the hypnobirthing CD. Bob in and out of "that place" to be ill. Steve potters. Mum takes Euna out.

10:30am. Hurts and I'm still being unwell. I can't stay in the chilled hypnobirth-y place I want to be in to deal with this and I want something else. Etinox or pool. Midwife says either could slow me down and I'm not in active labour yet. Last time I tried the pool from 3cm and it went well for a while so... We'll try it.

Steve goes to fill pool. Steve pulls some kind of Daddy slam WWF move on the tap connector. Steve storms out the door to GO TO HOMEBASE. On his way to the door we have a mild domestic row about his organisational skills but he had offered to do a practice run and I had told him not to bother... I imagine the midwife looks awkwardly at her notes at this point. Not our finest marital moment... *snigger*.

Steve needs to be here. This really REALLY hurts now. I apologise to the midwife. Steve is pulling some Stig-esc driving moves to Homebase. I beg for Etinox. Wonderful Etinox and Steve's back. Hot water tank, several kettle fulls and every pan we have is emptied of hot water in to the pool and it's still below the minimum level.

11:30am I AM getting in the pool. Midwife wants to check me before I get in. 5cm. Just in active labour. I get into the pool and it's barely minimum. Ahhhhh hot water. Swills round me and feels incredible. Thank GOD! I settle with my arms rested on the side of the pool and ride couple of contractions with Etinox. Steve crouches in front of me, he's been busy till now and I tell him he's stays with me now.

11:40am. I can feel baby moving down. I chug the Etinox. Midwife tells me to save it for contractions. I say I can't tell when they are anymore. Then I say I want to push. Don't push, it's too early. But I'm not doing it on purpose. I think back to Euna, I pushed to soon. Am I going to hurt this baby? Just stop pushing. I can't. I'm not doing it my body is. Etinox. More Etinox. Charlie you need to take it easy on that, we only have two canisters. Steve stop bloody moving around. Etinox. Can't feel the surges start and finish. I'm pushing. Theresa (usual midwife) arrives. Babies head. Baby. WHAT!? BABY! It's THERE! More baby... BABY! No one can get around to me quick enough.

I pick up baby. There's a BABY in my hands. Midwife hands appear over my left shoulder to assist. Steve is at my right. STEVE IT'S A BOY!!! I look at baby again, why have you cut the cord?! We haven't, it broke. Ok...?! Steve it's a boy. IT'S A BOY!

12:10pm. We have a son and he's here and I'm holding him.

We call my Mum back. "What is it?!" "We'll tell you when you get here" Midwives sort me out and I'm out on to dry land. Mum and Euna arrive. "IT'S A BOY!" My Mum cries and Euna runs over with an excited "HI! HI! HI!"

I sit with my babies. I have babies.

We all cuddle.

We celebrate.

He is blissful.

I have a son. 

We are four.

Welcome Bowen.

We love you.

Sharing with Sunday Snapshot.

Introducing...

Baby boy Bowen

born 7th November 2013, 12:10pm 

8lb 6oz

A birth story to follow... But right now we snuggle and sleep xxx

Bed Hair and Baby Waiting...

This is me and Euna right now. Pyjama clad and awaiting baby. My little buddy is very patient of her not so fun Mummy right now... She snuggles in for book after book on the sofa, plays catch rolling the birth ball along the hall, she rubs bump with her "gentle hands" and is vaguely well humoured when I chase her out of the baby's room trying to reclaim Sophie the Giraffe for her tardy sibling. 

Friends and family are excited. One of the benefits of a late baby is this opportunity to really draw in the anticipation. More time for guessing; sex, dates, weights, times... The superstitions and story making... Texts, emails and messages buzz in and out. 

Incredible to think I can't picture this new little someone right now and yet soon my whole life and world will be unimaginable without them... How can someone so important be so imminent and I know so little about them!? 

Drum roll...

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you will know we are no longer waiting... Full official BA very very soon...

I'm Running Out of Autumnal Post Titles...

... But I mean it when I say I love this time of year. Chilly breeze on chilly cheeks and walks over the green. That cooler air just feels so good in your lungs...

Peepo...

She kind of inhales the seeds up her nose... But right before then you can get a reasonable shot where it looks like she knows how it goes...

Little local knowledge... That barn in front belongs to Harry Enfield's inlaws... True story.

I need a family shot taken here, next year, on our wedding anniversary...

Happy Autumn! 

In the meantime we're still waiting. Our grip on our super natural, intervention free and "normalised" home birth is waning. The logistics of running around after a toddler and decisions regarding paternity leave are pressing. Oh to have a countdown clock for this baby! All the while anxieties are setting in where my perspectives can't be trusted right now. In short... This is hard. Really hard. There's nothing to learn here or anything profound to say... It'll just be one of those horrid times you scrape through with greasy hair and a bad diet until it's over, then I'll look back and say "cor... that was rough".

Until then I'm very grateful for friends and family who are tolerating my miserable face and a daughter who is happy to sit down and have books read to her.

Tick tock baby...

Autumn Dew

I hummed the tune to "Autumn days when the grass is jewelled..." whilst I edited these...

Pumpkins and Guy Fawkes Whilst We Wait...

Trying desperately not to let the impatience entirely take over and ruin what is my favourite time of year... For the most part it's not working. Most of the time I am being grumpy, impatient and all the while totally loosing my hypnobirthing inspired faith in my body. 

However, times like last night are being toted up on a list of bonus enjoyments that would've otherwise been denied to us with a newborn. So with labour feeling literally decades away I circled town in a tour de Supermarkets the day after Halloween for something resembling fancy dress. Unsurprisingly pickings were slim and I just about scooped up these 9-12 month (good job my 19 month old is a dinky one) Halloween themed pyjamas. Teamed with her new "dox" hat, that she refuses to remove, we're ready to hit our friends' for joint Halloween and Guy Fawkes celebrations! (I remember from last year that a lot of readers have never heard of Guy Fawkes so peek here.) Spiced pumpkin soup, spider-web cupcakes, a few (toddler terrifying) fireworks and lots of friends with sympathetic faces for the bump... Wonderful!

Nerves are setting in. I'm questioning my body. I know it'll be worth it, I know it'll happen and I know we are so so lucky to have this "complaint" but living those beliefs is hard right now... Stay focused family A. We are so so close...