Our Duo Isn't Forever...

Baby grows. And grows. And amongst all the wonderful reasons to be excited and happy as baby grows, one sad thought recurs to me; it'll also be the end of an era.

By the time baby comes there will have been 20 months of Euna and I on our own. Of course Steve is here on weekends and other people drop by. But the two constants are us, Euna and Mummy.

Thing is we're a team. For as long as I've been on this Mummy-train, she's been there with me. Everything I've learnt about being a Mum has been with her. That accounts for the wonderful, the beautiful, the exhausting, the life-changing, the frustrating, the fun, the bits when I didn't want it to end and the bits when I wondered would they ever end?! She's been my muse, my guinea pig, my first baby love, my crash test dummy, my lead product tester and my chief in charge of parenting quality control. She's been it all.

Equally I've been everything to her. For 9 months I was literally her universe whilst she became her. Then I fed her, just me, for 6 months. I'm her chef, her bum changer, her beautician and hygienist, her maid, her chauffeur, her... This list is boring me... Just everything!

Team Euna and Mummy we are. Though this duo is soon to change. And whilst this makes me happy in so many ways and there are so many wonderful things to come from the upgrade to a trio... There is part of me that is sad to see the back of so much exclusive Euna and Mummy time.

Nothing lasts forever right? Few things in this life are permanent. And I suppose fewer things would be special if they were permanent.

At this point in a post I like to kind of round things up positively. Fact is there is a sadness here, be it immensely outweighed by so much happiness to come, but there is an ending approaching to what has been the most wonderful time of my life. Truly. I don't regret the end, not a bit, I simply recognise it is to end and it was wonderful.

Thank you Euna, you've been beautiful. xxx

 “...and here's a secret for you - everything beautiful is sad...gilded with impermanence...” John Geddes, 'A Familiar Rain'

Third Trimester; Believing and Waiting

Today marks the start of my third trimester. The beginning of the end when I only just feel like we've got started.

I imagined it would all seem more real this time. I've witnessed the reality of bump turning into baby once, surely the miracle would be more believable given the experience? No. It's not.

If anything it's all less believable, could I really, seriously and realistically be that lucky twice over in a lifetime? Does that even happen? I can't bring myself to feel worthy of it one time around most days...

Apparently if you smile you can make yourself feel happy. So let's apply the same logic here... If I write like I believe this baby is coming, maybe I'll start to believe...

Hi Baby

Right now you're in my belly. You've just kicked me to the left of my belly button to prove it. Let's get acquainted. I'm your Mum. Well initially I'll be your Mumma, then I'll be Mummy and eventually when I admit defeat that you are old enough I'll be your Mum. Actually before I'm any of those things I'll be the woman with the food on her chest.

Any which way I'm here and waiting for you. Waiting for you to come join our family. Waiting for you to teach me that all my love isn't used up, that there's reserves beyond my imagination. Waiting for you to show my daughter how to love a sibling. Waiting for you to unteach me all the things I thought I learnt about mothering with Euna, whilst I learn how unique and special you are. Waiting for cuddles. Waiting for feeds. Waiting for those locked eyed newborn stares that bore into me like a train. 

I'm waiting baby and I am going to start to believe in you. I don't know much about you yet, I don't know what sex you are, I don't know what colour your hair is or if you have your Dad's long legs. But I know I love you, before I really believe you are to be, I know that. I know what your head smells like and I know it's going to make me want to die on the spot because nothing will ever smell that good again. I know I'll cry at how small you are. I know there's so so so much to look forward to. 

Yours sincerely believing in you and waiting for you,

Mum

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Slow mornings...

And zoo fun...

 27+4... 

 Drawing with Grandad...

 Babysitter in training...

OH Christmas Tree! OH Christmas Tree!

Whenever someone starts a new relationship or starts a family they, like me, like you, love to think about starting new traditions with it. We love to think of us doing the same thing years from now. We love to think about us telling people how many years we've been doing it.

Essentially we want to create and tell stories.

You could say it's that kind of idealism and chocolate box inspired expectations of perfection that impose stress on us at this time of year. My response is that as long as your traditions embrace the weird, the unconventional and the unaffected then these little rituals are what anchor you to your loved ones at this whirlwind time of year.

Well here we are a new family at our first Christmas. I want to drink it all in. Snap it. Blog it. Bottle it and keep it close to me forever and ever. I worry with more babies and time gone by the novelty will lessen. I suspect it won't. Steve would tell me it won't because I'm an eternal romantic (though he'd use a word like "dafty").

Still I worry it might and as a result I'm throwing myself feet first into the festive fever. I'm a retailers dream, sucked into every cheesy slogan-ed festive themed baby onesie I see and if I spend any more time on Not on the Highstreet  I may need to remortgage.

I do not need every piece of festive paraphernalia personalised with Euna's name. I do not need every piece of festive paraphernalia personalised with Euna's name. I do not need every piece of festive paraphernalia personalised with Euna's name. (Repeat.)

So here's the first of our festive traditions... Tree shopping. 

 Steve leading the charge...

 "You assess needle density darling and I'll just stand here and... NO I'M NOT TAKING PICTURES!"

 Ooooo prickly...

 Oh. I love them.

 A decision!

 "Wrap her up my good man!" everyone should speak ye olde English at Christmas... It's festive...

 Can we goooooo noooowwwww...

 Seriously... who needs baby sensory?!

 NOW you play with them! Not last week when I have you in appropriate clothing and am desperately trying to snap a Christmas card pic!

 Nom...

"Bear bottom" tights! Tee hee!

Insert a MULTITUDE of "Steve's Christmas baubles" related innuendo here...

This is the way forward for family photography...

For once I look taller than Steve!

Slow shutter speeds + wriggly baby on lap = mission impossible...

I told you I love them right?

FAILED traditional Christmas portrait... Hoping this doesn't become a tradition...

 VOILA!

 Now... We wait.

Happy story making!

LINK UP YOUR SNAPS TO OUR NEW LINKY...
SNAP YOUR WHIPPER SNAPPERS!

Silent Sunday... Getting Festive...

Did you spot her new "fish lips" trick? ;)