Breakfast Diary...

Toast has not been a hit so far in this house. Eggs are reasonably successful but the hunt is on for a favoured breakfast dish. So this morning we tried Gill Rapley's "Porridge Fingers"... They're easy peasey... Just equal parts milk and oats, mixed up, squashed in to the bottom of a dish and 2 minutes in the microwave.

At first I was a little disappointed at the reception but after a little while she really got stuck in! They were easy for her to handle and posed no gagging incidents. I think the real fun is going to be had in making fruit purees to dip them in and/or when she is old enough for a little honey. Regardless for today they went down pretty good.

Then I just have to slip this one in as we had a strawberry massacre for pudding at dinner time...

Oh and tea time snack? Duck.

Lessons:

1. Porridge fingers are fast and easy to make for Mummies and manageable for babies. Probably do better with something to pimp them up though.

2. There isn't a child alive who hasn't eaten a fair few bath bubbles.

Acceptance...

Last week at Mum & Baby yoga my teacher said something about acceptance in reference to meditation. It stuck and it grew in my head. Acceptance.

I'm thinking EVERYTHING about caring for a baby is about acceptance. Accept this baby has to feed every two hours. Accept that babies cry. Accept your responsibility. Accept their relentless growing up. Accept that you had a routine down yesterday and today you have nothing but chaos. Accept regression. Accept the fact it's 3:00am and you are not asleep. Accept being tired. Accept your baby has a dummy and is wearing ALL pink and this is so not the earth mothering non-gender-reinforcing avenue you'd imagined. Just say, to whatever is happening, yes this is happening.

So much about this whole process is made harder when we fight it. Fight the growth spurt that has your baby screaming for hourly feeds. Fight the night feeds. Fight the noise. Fight the dirty nappies and puke. Fight the endless dirty washing. And fight the image that looks back at you in the mirror. I do it. We all do it.

My sister once told me her health visitor told her that she found it was rarely the teenage mums with no income and surprise pregnancies that got post natal depression. She said it was more the mums with planned babies of 30+ year olds in stable marriages with good careers. Why? Because of the expectations the older mums had had time to build up. The books they'd read and course they'd taken etc all helped to build this fixed image of how everything would be with a baby and of course NOTHING in life and especially with a baby is ever what you think it's going to be. So they have a  much harder time accepting the reality when you have a firmer idea of what "should" have been. (FTR NOT saying I agree that this is where PND comes from just an interesting point.)

HAVING SAID THAT... saying the lesson is we need to accept everything all the time is dumb. I can't do that. You can't do that. I even doubt my baggy trouser wearing, seed eating, soft speaking, "zen-ed out", bare footed yoga teacher can do that. BUT it's good to keep at the back of our minds. Good to remember sometimes. Every so often. Mostly at 3:00am. And 4:00am. Well between the hours of 12 and 6:00. And when we're covered in vomit. You know, when we need it.

Peace out.

Sleep regression and the dummy...

Little catch up on baby A's latest exploits in the sleeping department... It appears she's been going through what they call a "4 month sleep regression". After a LOT of googling I can tell you the short hand version is when they are NEW newborn they basically have one stage of asleep and that's ZONKO. Like completely out of it. Like a drunk guy on the last train who goes so far past his stop he ends up in the train docking place. (This happened to a guy at husbands work, true story.) At about 4 months (which really means somewhere between 3-5 months) their sleep starts to develop to like how an adult sleeps, in stages. These stages (there are 7 or 9 or something) going in cycles for about 45-90 minutes. In one of those stages they wake up, like we do. This is the part where we shane position, readjust the pillow, kick partner for snoring etc etc

Why is this bad for babies? Well because babies aren't great at getting themselves back off to sleep. Especially my one. Especially my one who's Mummy is a bit of a one trick pony when it comes to getting her to sleep and that trick is feeding. Team this with the fact that about 4 weeks ago for no conceivable reason (to me) she suddenly started refusing to self settle. It seems she's started doing that thing that kids do up until they become teenagers where they fight the urge to fall asleep. (Perhaps they develop FOMO? Thats fear of missing out for those of you who don't listen to Chris Moyles.)

So I had three main problems:

1. She needs to be sound asleep before I put her in her cot and even then it usually took a few gos and the longer it takes the more overtired she gets and the lighter she sleeps... vicious circle that leaves me crying on the stairs.
2. When she wakes up she needs me to come and feed her to get her back off, which means my once sleeping through baby is now "creating feeds".
3. My incessant need to check things off lists makes me go WHAT?! But you were sleeping through?! No one told me once you get them sleeping through they might start waking again! GAH!!!! I thought I had this checked off!!

Solutions that did NOT work...

• Pick up put down a la Baby Whisperer (short book review - s'ok, some good theories, little idealistic and unforgiving). This made her HYSTERICAL! In a "why are you toying with my emotions and picking me up and putting me back down again" kinda way.
• Retreat method, it is what it sounds like. You gradually retreat in stages. She didn't like it in a "if you're RIGHT THERE how am I supposed to sleep? I'd rather have a cuddle thanks" kind way.
• Controlled crying (controversial I was against it until I spoke to a surprising amount of people who were pro and did ALOT of reading) my rationale was  it's the clearest message. I'm not there so you can't be cuddled. If I thought about her little baby brain being very linear in it's rationale it kind of made sense. Anyway I thought I'd give it a go but I wasn't going to let her get too upset. Ironically it was the least traumatic of the 3. It didn't work but her upset didn't escalate like with the others. She cried but her cry stayed at medium level, like a 5/10 on the cry-ometer.

What DID work?

A dummy.

It did. It's genius and after a lot of thinking and googling about pros and cons on the dummy I'm happy it worked. We're going to be strict, it's only going to be for nighttime. But it's a wonderful comfort for her, she finishes her last feed and I pop it in and she goes in to the cot with out a peep. After the first night and seeing her wonderfully well rested, content, happy and able to nap as she wasn't overtired I am all for it. Happy baby = happy Mummy. 

It's weird because before I had her I was all pro dummy. I had a dummy, my sisters used dummies. People get rid of them successfully. As long as they're managed responsibly children will adapt and give them up. BUT I have to say when faced with actually GIVING it to her I freaked a little. No reason, no new knowledge of the evils of the dummy inspired this. Just simply the fact she was MY baby and MY responsibility made me doubt myself. Like I say though it seems to be the right thing for now and I am making an informed decision. Must ignore crazy Mummy hormones and insecurities and go with the logical.

Lessons:

1. Knowledge is KING! Read read read and try everything. I don't think any ONE book will work for any ONE person except for the person who wrote it but bits from ten books will. 
2. Never underestimate this Mummying's ability to make you doubt yourself and that's what Daddy's are for. They're that little voice of reason that helps you to step out of your emotions and make good logical decisions. Use it/them.

Keepsake teddies... CUTE!

As baby Alexander keeps relentlessly growing (and breaking my heart as a result) I can't help but try to think of ways to commemorate her babyhood. Newest way I've found are these keepsake teddy bears... basically you select a few items of your favourite clothing, send them off and they will make a teddy out of them! So adorable!

One of the best sites I can find so far are Bubs Bears (they also have a Facebook page)... I've stolen a couple of their pics to show you...

Aren't they BEAUTIFUL?! 

Prices seems around the £20-£30 mark which is expensive for a regular teddy but I think reasonable if you are looking at it like a "I'll keep this forever teddy". They say they are not suitable for under 14's but personally I don't really think this would be a teddy to play with, more one to display and keep nice so you can use it reminisce later on down the line.

Now just to debate WHO'S teddy would this be? Mummy's or baby's? And how do you choose which clothes to use? I'll have to get five!!

Lessons learnt:

1. Creative keepsakes are awesome. 
2. Babies get big far too quickly. 

Catch up...

So it's been a while. Apologies to my one follower...

Aaaaanyway... What's new? Been abroad! With a baby! Wow! I remember being in my third trimester and panic buying dried pasta, jarred food and tins of everything utterly convinced I would NEVER be able to leave the house once the baby arrived. Now look at me! (Slight smug moment.)

Well in a nutshell it was great! I kind of started to dread it, I imagined it would just be like being at home but somewhere hot and therefore not a holiday at all. But it wasn't and it made me realise... a baby... when you take away the hoovering, dusting, cleaning, picking up, tidying, cooking, washing etc  out of the equation... is reasonably easy!

So since then I've been on this train of thought about how much house work is necessary? I'm a big fan of being in a clean house and I love relaxing in a gorgeous pristine room but how pristine can any of my house ever be with a baby? They come with an undeniable amount of clutter. Things I use hourly include baby wipes, muslins, dribble bibs, changing mat, bouncey chair and a couple of Lamaze toys. Those alone strewn across my lounge floor make the place look untidy. Then add my book, tv remote, monitor, nappy cream and a few other bits from the night before and we're in "cluttered" territory! So what's the point in trying?

Lesson - I know the lesson is to do what I need to and learn to live with the "necessary mess" but for a little while I suspect I'll continue to work against the tide... To be continued.

Exercise with a baby...

Weekend wedding = lots of pictures = "didn't know that bit wobbled" = GET ACTIVE!

Now the diet side of things I don't feel like I have too much control over due the monster breastfeeding sized portioning (ahem... and the endless opportunities to coffee and cake mornings that babies bring!) So what exercise can you do WITH a baby? I stress with for two reasons; 1) I'm not ready to leave her 2) Husband does loooong days so evenings aren't really an option anyway.

Ideas so far...

• Walking with buggy - good for me, good for her, fresh air and sunshine for both and it's fairly easy to keep her from being burnt with the hood and parasol etc.

• Walking with baby carrier - little harder work, a little less comfortable in hot weather and slightly harder to keep her out of direct sun BUT means you can be more adventurous with where you go.

• Zumba - lady in my NCT group found a little local class held in a school hall with a lady doesn't mind me parking the buggy in the corner. Did mean mini A ended up doing the last two numbers with me but worked out great!

• Buggy bootcamp - yet to try this one but apparently it's a SERIOUS workout... Oooo...

And today's idea... Mum and Baby Yoga! I'm really excited about this, been wanting to get in to Yoga for years and although I did a little whilst I was pregnant it wasn't real Yoga. Plus I think it'll be a lovely bonding thing for us... so off I pop in stretchy clothes and I'll be back in a while!

Our first trip ala bambino...

Odds are if you are married with a baby you have friends doing much of the same. So off we pop on Friday to Newcastle for a long weekend for a friends wedding and whilst we're there we decided to see some of my family too.

Here we go... travelling with a baby. Did not expect to be nervous about the prospect of a long car journey with a baby, how hard can it be when they're tied down in a car seat? Well after reading about why you shouldn't keep a baby in a car seat for longer than two hours because its crushes their organs and restricts their breathing I was nervous. Asked about it on a baby forum and consensus seemed that that rule was not applying to one offs and people as a whole are pretty laid back about it. But still... envisaging  5 hours of listening to her scream in protest at being trapped in her much hated car seat and all 3 of us fed up due to 25 degree heat wave... and that's best case scenario providing no one murders us all drink driving the wrong way down the A1!

Breathe. It was fine. Easy infact. The heat meant we left the windows open the night which got us all up super early and we got out the door reasonably efficiently. (Though alas sans my makeup bag.) We managed 3 hours of the journey whilst she slept soundly, stopped for a Little Chef and continued on without so much as a whimper from little one!

We arrive at my Auntie Irene's. She THAT member of the family who does all for all. Generous to a fault and simply adores children. She saved me from near malnourishment with weekly Sunday roasts all through university and quite frankly for these and many other efforts to act as a third parent she's my favourite Aunt and I love her dearly. Hence why Euna Irene is Euna Irene. And from this visit  I am so glad we decided to use it. To use someone's name is such a precious gift to give and I'm so happy we gave it to her.

The rest of the weekend? Well thanks in part to fantastic weather and great company is went brilliantly. Euna's sleeping was a little all over the place and I would blame the weather, lack of blackouts, lots of fuss from a lot of friends and family, two late (11pm) nights and a ton of new sights, smells and sounds to take in. But I'm home a day now and I can safely say she's settled back in to our (albeit very loose) routine with ease. Overall I'm really pleased, I went in thinking there was a good chance this would be more tiring and stressful than enjoyable but the friend was a good one and she made it to my big day needed to return the favour. The reality was it was great! Almost easier than being at home with no cooking, cleaning or washing to worry about!

Lessons on taking newborn away:

1. BABIES HAVE ALOT OF STUFF! We took 3 holdalls, large nappy wet bag, large (supermarket "bag for life" type) bag for nappies, moses basket, buggy, changing bag and some hanging clothes. 
2. Take blackout blinds - my Auntie Irene has what can only be described as the "anti-curtain" in her front bedroom window. A white sheet that essentially illuminates MORE light around the room and had Miss A up at 4:30 every morning. 
3. Away with cloth nappies - fine if you have access to a washing machine. if not I think I still would have lasted the four days but it may have been a lot of poo to sit in a car in 25 degree heat for a 5 hour car journey.
4. Take less clothes next time - plan every bodies outfits day by day. This will take time out of the deciding and reduce unnecessary luggage, though obviously still would've take a few extra vests and grows for poo and puke emergencies.
5. DO IT! Don't be nervous and (as always) be aware of the guidelines but be flexible with the to whats suiting you at the time.

Leaving the baby...

I was surprised to hear yesterday at my weekly NCT coffee afternoon that I am the last Mum (out of seven) to of not left their baby. (This is with the exception of being whisked off in an ambulance when she was ten days old and having to leave her with Daddy for about half an hour... felt like days.)

If you had told me when I was pregnant that I wasn't going to be ready to leave Euna at 9 weeks I would have been surprised. If you had told me that before I got pregnant (that person feels like a different human being) my first thought would probably have been "you mean I STILL won't be back out on the lash by then??!!"

Pre-baby and pre-pregnancy me aside... I am not ready. The girls have been talking about arranging a spa day and night out for a few weeks but the conversation has always been quite abstract in terms of date "WHEN we're ready to leave the babies..." But it seems they're ready. It seems they've all been to the gym, been out for meals and one has even been back to work for two days to cover someone so they started talking about the first week in June for a meal... Well my face must have been a picture because they all turned to realise I was not ready and to be honest this was even news to me. Never EVER thought I'd be that Mum. Kind of assumed I be the "oh you'll babysit? How's NOW for you?" Mum...

So there it is. I don't really have much more to discuss on it because I feel very certain about my non-readiness. I know it will come and iI have no intention of pushing myself out before I am ready, even though when I discussed it with my husband I very much got the sense he's a little impatient for me to leave so we can get a little bit of what our "normality" was back.

As a side note when I was telling the NCT girls that they should go for the meal and I would not be offended (explained the opposite as I would rather they went because if I feel like they're waiting for me I will feel pressured) one girl responded "I'm a bad Mum I leave him to go to the gym all the time". Then this morning I went on to my online birth board forum and asked when everyone on there was first leaving their babies (just to get a sense of the average) three other women jumped on the defensive with "oh well I must be a bad Mum cos I've left my baby..." What? No! There is this general sense when discussing baby things with other Mums that if you say you do something other Mums permanently hear it as "I think Mums that don't do this are horrible parents". I get it off people when I tell them I use cloth nappies or when I said I wanted a home birth. I don't know what I think about it because I KNOW it's just about what an emotive role being a parent is and that every subject relating to it will be a sensitive one. It must be where the Mum playground competitives start... "MY child sleeps for 6 hours at night" turns to "MY child completed grade 67 on the harp" and it all escalates from there... At the end of the day it's a tough job and we all find it hard to conceal our insecurity when someone else's choices could be seen to be making a comment on our own. I guess it's just a good thing to note... good to remember when someone says "have you left your baby with anyone yet?" is not "wow you're a clingy Mum". They're emotive things these little babies and learning to talk about them is a minefield...

Lesson? Leave your baby when YOU are ready to and very little to do with babies has a right or wrong just a right for you.  

Out and about... Framlington Castle...

So after my post about "What do babies want to DO..." I took my own advice and signed husband and I up as English Heritage members. It was a great deal £82 for the two of us for a year but as we signed up to pay for it via Direct Debit (although we paid for it in one lump via Direct Debit not in monthly instalments which I found odd) we got an extra 3 months free. Plus with that we can take in up to six children (under 19) each... although that sounds like a special kind of HELL it's still nice to know we could take our nieces and nephews should the occasion arise.

And for our first outing.... Framlington Castle! About an hour drive from home and looked pretty awesome in the pictures on the website. Unbeknownst to us being a bank holiday they were also holding an event where they were reenacting some siege of something... I forget who and what now (if I am going to go to these historical places it's probably going to be a good tip to spend less time hunched over my camera buttons and more time learning the history). Essentially it meant on top of the castle walls, bizarre house in the middle and surrounding grounds they also had tents demonstrating typical crafts, cooking methods and assorts for the 12th century. It also meant (cringe cringe cringe) there were lots of role players about... which I assume kids would LOVE to get involved with but personally I found it a bit embarrassing to having grown men talk to me in "ye olde" lingo and pretend they don't know why I am in "foreigners clothes" etc (squirm).

So here's an top view of the castle and goings on of the event...

We walked around the top of the castle walls, took some pictures and got a real lung full of fresh air which was a welcome break after what has now been nearly 3 weeks of on-off rain. There were food stalls selling drinks, sandwiches, burgers and (surprisingly) pizzas. Toilet and changing facilities were all fine. Husband even reported the portable loos they got in to take the extra visitors (due to the event) were surprisingly pleasant. It was lovely! Well worth what would have been £13 for two adults (works out we will have to do a minimum of 7 days out like this over 15 months to get our money back... not bad at all in my opinion!) My only criticism would is that the best views of the castle and the surrounding scenery, moat etc were from the castle walls which was definitely NOT a buggy a friendly route and potentially not safe enough to carry baby around either (personally). BUT we're still very excited by the novelty of our Bjorn baby carrier so need little excuse to get this out the car boot...

All in all great bank hols! Highly recommended! Go join the English Hertiage and have some historical family time! :D  

Cut for cloth clothes...

Say THAT four times fast!

So a couple of days ago I did a little post about cloth nappies and I am yet to start reviewing and writing up about a few of my favourite tried and tested nappies but in the meantime have a look at this... Frugi organic clothing for children and babies. I can not describe just how beautifully soft and well made these items are. Ok they are definitely at the top end of baby clothes prices but for the odd statement piece for babies wardrobe they are so worth it. Especially when you have a look at their sale section! I have just bought two tunic dresses for £8.80 each, BARGAIN!

The best part about Frugi clothes? They are "Cut for Cloth" this means the trousers, leggings, tights and grows are all cut to be a little more roomy around her lovely fluffy cloth covered bottom... LUSH! I am yet to do some real research in to what brands cut for cloth nappies, apparently H&M do too so will have to get spending down there too (all in the name of research you understand). Here she is (a welcome break from pink, pink and more pink) in the Cornflower Blue Baby Lucy Dress and a pair of the Plain Baby Leggings (both in size 0-3 months, Euna is now 10lb 12oz) and I (not biased AT ALL) think she looks beautiful...

Not only does she look beautiful but she feels so comfortable. The garments fit nicely, the fibres are super soft and there are no catchy fussy bits. As much as I want to show her off in pretty things I still think she's too young to be in denim or other heavy fabrics that may be uncomfortable to lie on. That's why Frugi seems to cover both pretty and comfy bases for me. So a winner all round if a little pricey.

Lesson for today... keep an eye on Frugi sale pages!

Building a sense of community...

Two days ago it was local elections and it's had me thinking about my local community. Until I left work to have Euna life was too busy to consider things on my doorstep. I worked at a school 40 miles away and hubby works a one hour train journey and two tube rides away in the West End of London. We spent our weekends catching up on housework and seeing (established) friends.

But there's something about having a baby and starting a family that makes you explore the people, places and services that make up your local community. Be it that you're reaching out for support/company. Be it that you want to explore the corner of the world that you are bringing child up in. Be it that when you have a baby you shed that slightly feckless and very internally focused attitude of your former single self. Whatever it is. People start really USING their communities when they start families and good for them.

I received a desperately thin copy of the "New Braiswick Park Newsletter" this week. I've seen it before and thought "ah bless". It's written by a local Pastor (need to find out what a pastor really is... what is the difference between a pastor, priest and vicar?) called Mary. It includes information on a couple of local groups, some gripping news on local bus stops and the latest on the community allotment. This particular featured a big front page (there are 4 pages) spread on the new "Community Room" and it's opening event. So I decide I am going to drag husband and daughter down to find out about our newest local facility. There will undoubtedly be free tea, what is there to lose?

So we go. It's nice. The infamous newsletter writing Pastor Mary greets us at the door, hooks us up with free tea and husband and I split. He to the newly re-elected local Lib-Dem counsellor to talk politics husband's a huge politics buff and had convinced himself SOLELY on the counsellor's pic that he's a dick and he can't wait to prove himself right... he doesn't, they talk for ages and husband wishes he'd voted for him. I go to the circle of mum's and try to make friends. There are three 8 month olds and a 5 month old. They seem nice and we exchange the typical "oh look at her hair", "doesn't he look like his Dad" and "how's she sleeping?" mum chat and it's all good.

I leave with the promise I will attend the Tuesday morning coffee group starting this week and an invitation from Pastor Mary to give her ideas of dance/arts classes I could teach. Husband comes out with a lot of local government gossip and news on plans for a local park etc. Brilliant. Glad we did it and so is husband.

So I'm just thinking that it's so often our generation feel like there's no sense of community. I wasn't alive 50 years ago but I assume we have a lot less of a sense of it than back then. We don't really chat over our garden fences anymore. I believe we're less likely to knock on neighbours doors and ask for favours. Why? I'd guess partly because we've convinced ourselves everyone is a potential sex offender or thief at the very least. But also because you get what you put in and we don't put in. Street parties and open houses aren't common place. Of 2200 new homes on our estate today's attendees totted up to less than 20. That's pretty sad.

Today's lesson is to get involved in your local community. I want to make stuff happen in mine, might teach a mum and baby movement class or might offer to lead some messy play. At the risk of sounding grotesquely "right-on"... I want to be part of the solution. Bring back community. Perhaps along with head vintage-style head scarves, bunting and cupcakes we can revive a 1950's sense of community?

What do babies want to DO...

Rain, rain and more rain reads every UK weather forecaster at the moment. My visions of endless Spring walks and reading in parks are, for the moment, scuppered. So on top of that being reasonably annoying for me, it seems Euna is not one to be kept indoors. We stayed in nearly all weekend which revealed two things... 1. if she doesn't go out in the car or pram she doesn't nap and 2. if she doesn't nap she gets overtired and finds it hard to go down at night. Excellent.

So what do you DO with a baby? Please note I can not afford anymore days at Bluewater or any other shopping centre.

We have all the usual indoor baby entertainment items. We are the proud owners of one Bright Starts vibrating bounce chair...

 A Disney's Baby Einstein Ocean Adventure Gym...

A Tiny Love Super Play Mat...

And of course you know we've been rocking tummy time but what else can you do? Well... I had the misfortune of accompanying my niece and nephews to a local soft play area on Monday and discovered their leaflet tables are a great source of finding things to do. So here's my two favourite rainy day friendly day out ideas that I picked up...

Birch Gallery and Tea Room - I could definitely while away an hour or two here. A pot of tea and a squint at some local artists' works.

Layer Marney Tower - Whilst this would be more fun on a sunny day so you can enjoy the gardens and I am kicking myself for missing feeding the lambs with my sister's kids you could still enjoy a couple of hours seeing the inside of the tower.

A little squint at these on the web brought me to looking on the English Heritage site and there are tons of ideas on their Days Out page and second to that what fantastic value their membership is! It would be £82 for a whole year for hubby and I and Euna would go free... for a years worth of days out and that got to be £82 you'll feel great about given where it's going... Brill!

We will also be looking at swimming as soon as we've got our health check and jabs done on Thursday (tears are imminent). Damn and blast to rumours I heard that we will not be able to take a camera!

Any other ideas? What are you doing to while away these rainy days with your babies?

Lessons learnt - English weather can suck and far too much of what is available locally relies on it NOT raining... humph!

One of the greatest pleasures of a newborn...

Short post but if this doesn't melt you then nothing will. Me and Euna sharing a bath on Saturday... absolutely scrumptious. I will remember this forever and ever and advise it goes on everyone's baby bucket list...

Lesson - make time for skin to skin after the birth. They really won't stay teenie tiny forever...