Introducing...

Baby boy Bowen

born 7th November 2013, 12:10pm 

8lb 6oz

A birth story to follow... But right now we snuggle and sleep xxx

Bed Hair and Baby Waiting...

This is me and Euna right now. Pyjama clad and awaiting baby. My little buddy is very patient of her not so fun Mummy right now... She snuggles in for book after book on the sofa, plays catch rolling the birth ball along the hall, she rubs bump with her "gentle hands" and is vaguely well humoured when I chase her out of the baby's room trying to reclaim Sophie the Giraffe for her tardy sibling. 

Friends and family are excited. One of the benefits of a late baby is this opportunity to really draw in the anticipation. More time for guessing; sex, dates, weights, times... The superstitions and story making... Texts, emails and messages buzz in and out. 

Incredible to think I can't picture this new little someone right now and yet soon my whole life and world will be unimaginable without them... How can someone so important be so imminent and I know so little about them!? 

Drum roll...

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you will know we are no longer waiting... Full official BA very very soon...

Our Duo Isn't Forever...

Baby grows. And grows. And amongst all the wonderful reasons to be excited and happy as baby grows, one sad thought recurs to me; it'll also be the end of an era.

By the time baby comes there will have been 20 months of Euna and I on our own. Of course Steve is here on weekends and other people drop by. But the two constants are us, Euna and Mummy.

Thing is we're a team. For as long as I've been on this Mummy-train, she's been there with me. Everything I've learnt about being a Mum has been with her. That accounts for the wonderful, the beautiful, the exhausting, the life-changing, the frustrating, the fun, the bits when I didn't want it to end and the bits when I wondered would they ever end?! She's been my muse, my guinea pig, my first baby love, my crash test dummy, my lead product tester and my chief in charge of parenting quality control. She's been it all.

Equally I've been everything to her. For 9 months I was literally her universe whilst she became her. Then I fed her, just me, for 6 months. I'm her chef, her bum changer, her beautician and hygienist, her maid, her chauffeur, her... This list is boring me... Just everything!

Team Euna and Mummy we are. Though this duo is soon to change. And whilst this makes me happy in so many ways and there are so many wonderful things to come from the upgrade to a trio... There is part of me that is sad to see the back of so much exclusive Euna and Mummy time.

Nothing lasts forever right? Few things in this life are permanent. And I suppose fewer things would be special if they were permanent.

At this point in a post I like to kind of round things up positively. Fact is there is a sadness here, be it immensely outweighed by so much happiness to come, but there is an ending approaching to what has been the most wonderful time of my life. Truly. I don't regret the end, not a bit, I simply recognise it is to end and it was wonderful.

Thank you Euna, you've been beautiful. xxx

 “...and here's a secret for you - everything beautiful is sad...gilded with impermanence...” John Geddes, 'A Familiar Rain'

Baby Naming...

We need a name.

Well in the interests of paying service to typical practice of using different names for different sexes; we need two.

Sounds easy. Think of a name you like, give it to a baby.

What's not easy is when you start to think about this name representing your child. What it's going to say about your child. What kind of person goes by this name? How will this name introduce this baby as a baby, then a child, then an adult?

Doesn't sound so easy now.

What kind of names do I like? What do I want this name to be? Well... I want this name to be unique, thoughtful, intelligent, phonetically pleasing, aimiable, memorable, classic, in a way rommantic and simultaneously a little bit grand but also humble.

Now this is sounding hard.

In a way this name is the way I first state for my child my hopes and dreams for them. Perhaps I imagine if I can achieve the perfect name selection then good things follow a little more easily for them? Perhaps I imagine if I chose the wrong name good things will not follow?

Then on top of all the above I want love this name.

Now it's sounding impossible. Equally I don't intend to name this baby after my favourite biscuit, so how wrong can I go?

People say we'll know. They said we'd know last time, we didn't. Good news was those new baby happy hormones mean you make it work. Like so many things with babies I need to add it to the "Just Gotta Believe It'll Be Fine" list. And if it isn't... Well then we make stories. Back to the books...

What's on your list of naming criteria? What's in a name for you?

A last few holiday snaps...

 

Another self-timer family portrait... :D

Baby Pheobe on Location...

Beautiful cousins... See Felicity's shoot here!

Like these? Like my Facebook page FARLIE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Third Trimester; Believing and Waiting

Today marks the start of my third trimester. The beginning of the end when I only just feel like we've got started.

I imagined it would all seem more real this time. I've witnessed the reality of bump turning into baby once, surely the miracle would be more believable given the experience? No. It's not.

If anything it's all less believable, could I really, seriously and realistically be that lucky twice over in a lifetime? Does that even happen? I can't bring myself to feel worthy of it one time around most days...

Apparently if you smile you can make yourself feel happy. So let's apply the same logic here... If I write like I believe this baby is coming, maybe I'll start to believe...

Hi Baby

Right now you're in my belly. You've just kicked me to the left of my belly button to prove it. Let's get acquainted. I'm your Mum. Well initially I'll be your Mumma, then I'll be Mummy and eventually when I admit defeat that you are old enough I'll be your Mum. Actually before I'm any of those things I'll be the woman with the food on her chest.

Any which way I'm here and waiting for you. Waiting for you to come join our family. Waiting for you to teach me that all my love isn't used up, that there's reserves beyond my imagination. Waiting for you to show my daughter how to love a sibling. Waiting for you to unteach me all the things I thought I learnt about mothering with Euna, whilst I learn how unique and special you are. Waiting for cuddles. Waiting for feeds. Waiting for those locked eyed newborn stares that bore into me like a train. 

I'm waiting baby and I am going to start to believe in you. I don't know much about you yet, I don't know what sex you are, I don't know what colour your hair is or if you have your Dad's long legs. But I know I love you, before I really believe you are to be, I know that. I know what your head smells like and I know it's going to make me want to die on the spot because nothing will ever smell that good again. I know I'll cry at how small you are. I know there's so so so much to look forward to. 

Yours sincerely believing in you and waiting for you,

Mum

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Slow mornings...

And zoo fun...

 27+4... 

 Drawing with Grandad...

 Babysitter in training...